Life ain't Fair
by SilverMoonGrimm
Summary: The children of the Big Three are bored, so they decide to play Life and decide that its very unrealistic. Oneshot. R&R, pretty please! Non-specific time, but before TLH.


**Hi! This is just a random oneshot story I came up with one day about the children of the Big Three playing Life, then creating their own version. It's all dialogue, but if you get lost its okay. Well anyway, Read, enjoy, review! **

**Life ain't Fair**

"So what cha wanna do?"

"Wanna ain't a word."

"Niether is ain't!"

"Guys! Shut up! I'm trying to figure out this game I bought!"

"What game?"

"It's called Life."

"Why don't we play that, then?"

"Okay. So, the goal of this game, apparently, is to get to the end of the board with the most money."

"What if you die?"

"Um . . . you lose?"

"What if we all die?"

"Then, um . . . I don't know!"

"Whoever survives longest?"

"I guess that makes sense."

"Great! So let's play!"

"Sure. I call the blue car!"

"I call green!"

"No fair! That means I have the yellow one!"

"Too bad. Life ain't fair."

"Ha! I get it!"

"I still have the yellow car."

"Suck it up."

"I'll go first!"

"Hey! No, I will!"

"I'm awesomer than both of you, so I should go first!"

"No way!"

"Just spin the **** wheel!"

"Language!"

"Yes! I got a ten!"

"Speeding ticket!"

"What?"  
"You got a speeding ticket."

"Huh? What for?"

"You were obviously speeding! It says right here that if you get a ten, you have to pay the policeman a ticket!"

"Let me see that!

Grrrrrrrr . . . who's the policeman?"

"Me, duh."

"What?!"

"Just pay up!"

grumble.

"My turn! Oh! A seven!"

"What'd you land on?"

"It says . . . get a life?"

"Ha!"

"Dissed by a board game. How sad."

"It means a life _card_!"

"Oh."

"Ooohhh! I get 500,000 bucks!"

"Awww! All I got was a . . . bill?"

"That's right, Percy! Pay up!"

"Who's the banker?"

"Oh . . ."

"Yes! I robbed the bank! I'm a millionaire!"

"Stop him, Nico!"

"Oh yeah! Policeman to the rescue! Weeeeeeeeeeeee-ooooooooooooooooooh! Weeeeeeeeeeee-ooooooooooooh!"

"What the- AARRGGHH!"

"Taste defeat, criminal!"

"Right now, I just taste floor."

"Get off him, Nico. It's my turn!"

"Then go!"

"'kay."

"What'd you land on?"

"It says . . .get married. What?!"

"Ooooohhhhh! Wait until Artemis hears about his!"

"I can't get married! I'm a Hunter!"

"Tell whoever made this game, that!"

"Grrrr . . . After this, whoever that is, is so dead!"

"So, who ya marryin?"

"Do I have to?"

"Yes, it's part of the game!"

"This game is stupid!"

"Geez, Thals, you didn't have to destroy it! I paid good money for that!"

"No one cares, Nico."

"I do!"

"Let's make our own game!"

"That actually sounds fun. Only, let's make this one realistic."

"I'll get the board!"

"I'll get the markers!"

"And I'll relax while you two boys do all the work"

"Hey!"

"No fair!"

"Life ain't fair."

grumble

"Percy, when we said board, we didn't mean a _board_ board!"

"You said to be realistic!"

"But now we can only move straight!"

"So? All those twisty paths were giving me a headache!"

"Ugh! At least Nico got some decent markers."

"Okay, let's get working!"

"We need career cards!"

"Sure, I'll do those."

"Great! We'll start on the board."

"First one; **find out your best friend is half goat and go to Camp Half-Blood**."

"I have one! **Get turned into a pine tree. Skip a turn.**"

"More like five years!"

"Eh. I'm feeling generous."

"I finished the career cards!"

"Read them out loud, Nico."

"Um, dead, camp counselor, cleaning harpy, forever fifteen, a god."

"Seriously?"

"I call a god!"

"We aren't even playing!"

"Oh, oh yeah."

"Now you can help with the board!"

"You guys only did two squares?"

"Yep."

"Pretty much."

"Alright. I guess it's my turn to write one, then, let's see . . . **get attacked by evil robot koala bear. Die**."

"I though we said _realistic_!"

"It is realistic!"

"I have never been attacked by an evil robot koala bear, nor have I ever heard of one, in my life."

"I have. Horrible experience."

"I want one! I wanna name it Georgie!"

". . ."

". . ."

"I'll just do another square."

"Good idea."

"**Fall into Tartarus. Loose sanity.**"

"Do we have a sanity piece?"

"We'll have to make one."

"Ooh! Let's use a bag of marbles! Everyone starts out with three, then if they run out, they're out of the game!"

"Okay, but I don't have any in here."

"I don't own any."

"I lost all my marbles a _long_ time ago."

"We all know this, Percy."

"Don't feel bad: Nico never had any, either."

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did too!"

"Did no- Ack! No fair!"

"Life ain't fair."

"That was funny, like, the first time, Thalia."

"My turn! **Become a Hunter. Gain immortality, move forward thirty-seven squares, and earn seventy million bucks.**"

"What?!"

"Hunters are awesome. Get over it."

'But what if it's a boy?"

"Ugh. Good point. Let me fix that; _**If girl**_**, Become a Hunter. Gain immortality, move forward thirty-seven squares, and earn seventy million bucks. If boy, turn into a jackalope and loose seventeen turns.**"

"That's even less fair!"

"Life ain't fair."

"I can see that and we're only, like, five squares in."

"We need to keep moving! Your turn, Percy!"

"Oh, um, **Bake blue cookies. Take another turn.**"

"I love blue cookies! Sally makes the best kind!"

"Oh yeah! We should eat some later!"

"Maybe mom'll bake extra if she likes the game!"

"It's my turn. What does she like?"

"Um, I dunno. My dad? Paul? Us?"

"Okay. **Nico, Thalia, and Percy just survived after an epic quest to save Posiden. Earn a bunch of blue chocolate chip cookies**."

"I think you spelled my dad's name wrong, but I'll ignore that for my love of cookies!"

"My turn, Kelp Head."

"This is getting boring."

"Let's ask mom and Paul to play!"

"Sure, just let me do one last square."

"Whatever."

"See you in a second!"

"Let's see;** Congratulations! You have survived the great game of Life! I hope you enjoyed the awesome and realistic version created by the amazing Thalia Grace, with help from Kelp Head and Dead Breath. Enjoy, and remember, kids; Life ain't fair!**"


End file.
